Wednesday, April 25, 2012

All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

I have a little less than a month and a half until I leave London. But because of the weird exam schedule at English universities, some people are leaving now. One guy that was an acquittance left a few weeks ago. However, tomorrow morning, one of my closest friends I've made here leaves. I said goodbye to her. I saw her for the last time. I hope to go and visit her next summer, but she lives really far away and I'm just not sure I'll have the money. It's really hard. And I didn't cry as I said goodbye to her, but now I'm sitting in my room listening to "All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye" by John Mayer and begging my tears to stay in my eyes. They're having a hard time listening.
My university experience here has been shaped so much by the people I met here. And one of the people that played a key role in that is leaving. I went to BAFTA events with her, red carpet premieres, had movie nights, went to BOP, walked around central countless times, went on field trips, so many things. So many good memories. And I've only known her a few months, but I feel like I've known her (and everyone I'm close with here) for years. I have to say goodbye to these people. It really hit me right now. I have limited time with these people. The clock is ticking. It is tearing my heart apart.
I didn't cry when I said goodbye to my friends and family. But knowing I have to say goodbye to these people does make me want to cry. I think it's because when I said goodbye to friends and family, I had a date that I'd be seeing them. There were future plans to see them again. I don't have that with the people here. I don't know when I'll see them again. If I'll see them again. This goodbye has a definite feel. It's ending.
They've become some of my best friends. I'm praying distance doesn't mess that up. I don't want these people out of my life ever again. But not knowing when I'll see my friend again is horrible and reducing me to tears. I hate goodbyes.

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