Home...Sweet Home?

Summer days tend to all merge together so that I consider myself lucky when I know what day of the week it is, let alone the actual date. After double-checking the date on my mobile and realising that, yes, it is indeed 6 July, I can state that I've been back in America for a month. One whole month. Normally, I find summer creeping by at the slowest pace possible, but it definitely doesn't feel like it's been a month. Sure, several things have happened (like revitalising my bank account with babysitting money and buying my first car, which is also my dream car- a silver Mini Cooper), but I also feel like I was just in England. I can still picture the streets of London, my uni's campus, my flat, the Tesco I went to practically every other day. Everything is still clear. I still feel like, any moment now, I should be returning to the places that I saw daily for five months. Having to drive still confuses me. Public transport was my best friend. Not seeing my study abroad friends seems weird and seeing my friends from home feels strange. After a month of readjusting, shouldn't it be the other way around? And considering, my body clock likes to wake me up at 8 am everyday (which is 1 pm UK time and a typical time I'd be waking up if I didn't have anything to do), I'm convinced that my body isn't completely over the jetlag. But after a month, that's got to be wishful thinking. And gosh darn, is it wishful.
I choose to study in London because I'd been obsessed with the city since I was nine years old. But I'd never been there before. I could've hated the city. Instead, I ended up loving it more than I thought possible. I missed some things about home, which made being home for the first two weeks really nice. I'm over home now, though. I'm ready to go back to London. As my favourite Disney song, "Go The Distance," says: "I will go most anywhere to find where I belong." I found that place. It's London. I've never felt so comfortable in a space before. Unfortunately, I couldn't stay in that place. I had to come back to the place I grew up, the place where my family is and my friends and my university. I didn't go to London to stay. I have two more years of university in the States. This unfinished business is making it so I can't return to London immediately. I want to, though. And I want to move there permanently. I miss it so much. So, that's what I'm striving for now. I have so many other things that require money that I probably won't be able to go back to London until 2014, but I can deal with that as long as I move there shortly after I graduate.
My time in London really was fantastic. I wouldn't change it for the world. I spent my last two weeks there just living in the city and going to new parts of the city I hadn't explored yet. It was lovely. But I'm across the pond again now, back in the place of my citizenship. And I'm readjusting to my old life again. Studying abroad is in the past now (even if it is all I think about in the present). It gave me so many wonderful experiences and changed me so much. I'm so blessed to have had the oppurtunity. But it's done, it's over. So, this is it. The end of documenting the experience. I've said "See you soon" to London and now I just have to live my life until that "See you soon" turns into "Hello again."

I'll be home in two weeks... what?

Remember that time I decided to keep a blog while I studied abroad and then I hardly updated it? Like not for an entire month? Oops. Time has passed and now I'm sitting here after spending a beautiful day on my campus' main lawn and soaking up the sun (which means I am now sunburned, but only on my left side. CUTE) and I've realised that in two weeks, by this time, I'll be home again. In North Carolina.
So much has happened while I've been here. I've faced independence more than I ever have. I've had to go somewhere where I know no one. I've had to learn to navigate and live in the largest city in Europe. I've had to adjust to a new culture. And all of these things have changed me from the girl I was that grew up in North Carolina. I've become independent. I've made new, wonderful friends. I've tested my relationship with God, only to realise that I will always need Him. I've gotten to travel, something I've always wanted to do and never have. I've had to cook for myself every night. I've fallen in love with London. I've only been here for five months, and yet, my old life seems fuzzy. I can't seem to picture it clearly. I feel like the person I have become won't fit as well with that. I was talking with one of my Norwegian friends today. She understood me when I said that. But she assured me to know that I'd go home and quickly slip back into the comfort of home. However, that worries me with what will happen to this version of me? The one that has a big city at her fingertips, can grab a casual drink with a friend, and doesn't constantly need to be in contact with her parents. Will the two selves merge? I don't want to give up the life and person I am here. It felt so good to sit on the lawn today, soaking up sun, listening to my English friends complain about the heat (it wasn't hot by my Southern standards) and play football (soccer) while drunk. It's just a beautiful, simple thing. And I'll miss it more than the world.
If you had asked me two weeks ago, I would have said I thought I would be ready to leave when the time came. However, as the time draws nearer, I wish there was a way to shackle me to this country. I don't want to leave England, especially now that the weather is SO nice. This has become my home. North Carolina doesn't feel like home anymore. Sure, there are things I miss about it, but it still feels weird to think about going back to North Carolina. I don't want to. At least not yet.
Maybe I'll get mentally prepared to go as my return flight gets closer, though. All of my friends are starting to leave. I've had to say multiple goodbyes over the last week. It's been hard because part of my London is the friends I have here. And I don't know if I'll ever see some of these people again. That breaks my heart. My flatmate, Scott, and I got a bit emotional about it on Sunday night, drowning our sorrow in shots of vodka and talking about all that this experience has given us and how difficult it is to put it in to words to explain to our friends back home (without sounding like jerks that don't miss them. Because we do miss them) that we don't want to leave London.
It's inevitable, though. I will be leaving in two weeks. I will be home- if I consider it that anymore- in exactly two weeks. That thought terrfies me. Until then, I plan to spend every possible moment with my remaining friends here and going to my favourite parts of London and seeing the last few things I haven't seen yet. I need to live it up and leave with no regrets. Maybe then I'll be ready to leave... but I doubt it. I guess it will just happen, and I will have to learn how to deal with that.

All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

I have a little less than a month and a half until I leave London. But because of the weird exam schedule at English universities, some people are leaving now. One guy that was an acquittance left a few weeks ago. However, tomorrow morning, one of my closest friends I've made here leaves. I said goodbye to her. I saw her for the last time. I hope to go and visit her next summer, but she lives really far away and I'm just not sure I'll have the money. It's really hard. And I didn't cry as I said goodbye to her, but now I'm sitting in my room listening to "All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye" by John Mayer and begging my tears to stay in my eyes. They're having a hard time listening.
My university experience here has been shaped so much by the people I met here. And one of the people that played a key role in that is leaving. I went to BAFTA events with her, red carpet premieres, had movie nights, went to BOP, walked around central countless times, went on field trips, so many things. So many good memories. And I've only known her a few months, but I feel like I've known her (and everyone I'm close with here) for years. I have to say goodbye to these people. It really hit me right now. I have limited time with these people. The clock is ticking. It is tearing my heart apart.
I didn't cry when I said goodbye to my friends and family. But knowing I have to say goodbye to these people does make me want to cry. I think it's because when I said goodbye to friends and family, I had a date that I'd be seeing them. There were future plans to see them again. I don't have that with the people here. I don't know when I'll see them again. If I'll see them again. This goodbye has a definite feel. It's ending.
They've become some of my best friends. I'm praying distance doesn't mess that up. I don't want these people out of my life ever again. But not knowing when I'll see my friend again is horrible and reducing me to tears. I hate goodbyes.

BEDA Day 7: Going Home (Kinda)

Today is my last day in France. I'm in a small seaside town that runs along the English channel. It's cute and sleepy, and I plan to explore it as much as possible until my ferry leaves. I love travelling. Exploring new places are exciting. However, I'm in love with London so much. So, I miss it. I'm sitting here in my hotel room with a beautiful view of an adorable town, but all I can think about is the things I love about London. I can't wait to be back in my city, in a country where they speak my language, and back at my own university.
Vacation is over. It's time to go to my home. Or whatever London is for me until June.

BEDA Day 3: Paris!

So, I've finally left travelling the UK to go to continental Europe to travel. This month, I'll be going to France and the Netherlands. I'm in Paris right now, actually.
My sister came into London yesterday and we hung out for awhile before going to Paris today. And yet again, she kidnapped my laptop and I just got it back. She promised we'll have an early night tomorrow, so I promise I'll write my first proper blog of BEDA then.

The Hunger Games, TARDISes, and stuff.

The month of March has been a little uneventful in comparison to the other two months I've been here. Of course, saying that March is uneventful still means nothing in comparison to what my life in the States was like. However, I have done some fun things this month.

• Saw Wicked with my sister when she came into town
• Went to The Hunger Games premiere
• Found the police box at Earl's Court

I know March is only half over, but that's what I've done so far this month. The rest of the month will consist of going to some museums, seeing The Hunger Games movie, and having classes end for the term. Fun stuff. Even though I'm feeling a little homesick, I still love it here so much. So, yeah, there's an update.

Bagpipes, kilts, One Direction, and good friends.

Because my university here in London absolutely loves me, a week is given to students midway through term called "reading week." It's supposed to be a time for people to catch up with assignments and schedule tutorials with professors. But as an international student, I used the time off to travel. Last week, on Wednesday the 22nd, I went with my friend, Megan, to Edinburgh, Scotland. We took the train there, and our train left from King's Cross, leaving us to daydream that we were going to Hogwarts.
Edinburgh was my first overnight travelling experience since getting to the UK. I stayed in my first hostel. And yes, hostels aren't the nicest places. But I was very impressed with our hostel.

We were also located in a prime location in the city. It was a 2 minute walk to the Royal Mile or Princes Street. Megan and I spent most of Wednesday just walking the city. We would get to an intersection and decide whether to go right or left. We were incredibly lost, but we got to see parts of the city that were off the  beaten path. 

Thursday was spent walking a lot as well. We had a few places that we walked on purpose, like touristy shops, up and down Princes and George Street, and Calton Hill. When we were on top of Calton Hill, we decided that the ocean didn't seem to be far too away, so we decided to walk to it. That failed miserably. After walking an hour and a half, we still hadn't come in sight of the ocean and it was becoming dark, so we had to give up. But I want to go back to Edinburgh and see the ocean from more than a distance.

On Friday, our friend, Shannon, met us in Edinburgh. Then, we took the bus to Glasgow for the day. Glasgow was nice, but it has nothing on the beautiful wonder that I thought Edinburgh was. Even so, I did enjoy myself.

We went back to Edinburgh Friday night and then woke up early on Saturday to enjoy our last day in Edinburgh before having to catch the train back home at 5:30 pm. The highlights of the last day were buying souvenirs, taking a bus tour, exploring Edinburgh Castle, and sitting for two and a half hours in The Elephant House (a cafe made famous as being a place JK Rowling frequently wrote Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in).

Megan also made a fantastic video of our trip to the sounds of One Direction's One Thing. For some reason, we were singing that song the entire trip, so it was perfect. The video is perfect, just like the trip was. I feel so blessed to have been able to Scotland, especially with Megan and Shannon because they are two of my favourite people I've met since being abroad. Check it out here: